Co-parenting sessions
How each parent is included, and what Raymond will not decide
Two homes, one child. Here is what each parent gets, and the decisions that stay with you, your parenting plan or the court.
| When it comes up | What each parent gets | What Raymond will not decide |
|---|---|---|
| The first call | What each parent getsEach parent has their own call, with the same questions and the same length. | What Raymond will not decideWho is to blame for the divorce. |
| Updates | What each parent getsBoth parents hear the same general update on how sessions are going. | What Raymond will not decideWhat your child says in the room. It stays with your child unless someone is at risk. |
| The schedule | What each parent getsEach parent hears what sessions need from the week: a ride, a time, a quiet evening. | What Raymond will not decideCustody, or where your child lives. Your parenting plan or the court decides that. |
| A disagreement about therapy | What each parent getsHe explains what he sees and what each choice would mean for your child. | What Raymond will not decideWhether therapy goes on when you share the decision and disagree. That is for the two of you. |
| Court | What each parent getsHe can confirm that your child is in therapy, and on which dates. | What Raymond will not decideA custody recommendation. He does not write one, and he does not testify about who should have custody. |
| Messages between homes | What each parent getsHe talks with each of you directly. | What Raymond will not decideHow the two of you communicate. He never carries a message from one of you to the other. |
| Who comes to sessions | What each parent getsYour child's sessions are for your child, parent sessions are for parents, and a joint session happens only when both of you ask. | What Raymond will not decideWho drives, who pays or who attends. That is your agreement. |
In order
What each parent gets, step by step
- 01
Step 1: The same first call
Twenty minutes each, with the same questions. Neither of you is the main contact.
- 02
Step 2: The same pages, read once
You each send the parts of the parenting plan that cover decisions and schedule. Raymond reads both before he meets your child.
- 03
Step 3: The same agreement
Each parent signs the same consent form, which says what stays private in your child's sessions and what does not.
- 04
Step 4: Your own sessions
Each parent has parent sessions of their own, set with Raymond. What you say there does not go to the other parent.
- 05
Step 5: The same update
Every few weeks both parents hear the same general update on how sessions are going. What your child says in the room is not in it.
- 06
Step 6: A joint session, if you both ask
Eighty minutes with both of you, about your child and nothing else. If one of you does not want one, there is not one.
Co-parenting questions
What if only one of us wants to start?
Raymond asks to see the part of your parenting plan or court order that covers mental health decisions. If one parent can consent alone, he can start with that parent's consent and will tell the other parent. If the decision is shared, he waits.
Will you tell my ex what I say in my parent sessions?
No. What you say in a parent session stays there, with the limits on the consent page.
Can one parent come to every session and the other to none?
Parent sessions are each parent's choice. Your child's sessions are your child's, and Raymond asks both parents to agree on who brings your child.
Do you work with a parenting coordinator or a lawyer?
Raymond can talk with them if both parents sign a release that names who and what. He will not take part in a court case.
Start with a call, and each parent gets theirs
Ask for a first call and say which of you is writing. Raymond calls each parent separately.